Blog entry for:

a little bit of patience and the willingness not to take myself so seriously all the time! i have to confess, patience is not something i brought with me to recovery. nor is patience something i ever desired to achieve, it just sort of happened, auto-magically as i stayed clean, worked steps and figured out how to live an active, daily program of recovery. today, the lightness of spirit i felt on Friday, has been extended as the corporate trolls who work for a major bank, finally took care of what i asked them to do on Wednesday afternoon. i was asked to fill out an online survey about how well my call went on Thursday and i had to slam the living FVck out of them, as they had failed to do what they said they world do. this morning, i went in and checked and the account and <BOOM> it was closed. it is too bad that i had to go down that path and it certainly reminds me of who i can be ⇝ a major flake, who would promise just about anything and rarely, if ever, follow through. i have no remorse for slamming those employees as when i called the excuses certainly did fly.
as i move beyond the end of my work for my Mom and my siblings, i continue to feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and i can finally stand-up straight and walk with my head held high. doing some step work yesterday, probably did not hurt and realizing that the next two weeks off are a gift, rather than a burden, certainly helps move me in the correct direction. am i joyful today? well i am certainly not sullen, dour or sad. i have a bit to be hopeful for, in my fantasy match-ups today, i am going to get time to enjoy a cigar during the second round of games and i am getting my Christmas burden out of the way this afternoon, so i can have a quiet Christmas of football, working out and pigging out before jetting off to the tropics the next day. looking at all of that, i guess i can at least admit i am happy and joy is not all that far away.
more importantly, i am beginning to feel the joy i get when i can run, once again. it has been a long time coming and even though hiking to the roof of Africa was the cause of my injuries, i still felt out of sorts about not being able to burn off all the calories i have the desire to eat. perhaps it is time to stop being so fucking serious and live a little. maybe the universe is telling me that everything is going to be okay, IF i keep doing what i have been doing and allow the rest to fall into place, just for today.

∞ DT ∞