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and redefining joy, certainly takes me back to those **good old days,** when all that was joyful in my life was **enhanced** through a bit of chemistry, until there was very little joy left in my life. my wedding day started with drinks at eight AM and non-stop using until we started our drive towards Vegas for our honeymoon. that one example is more than ample to illustrate my point, on what should have been one of the joyous days of my life, i was FUBAR all day long. it goes without saying that is no longer how i handle those experiences that bring me joy today.
seeing the landscape from on top of everything, after climbing for hours on end, certainly brings me joy, even though i am bone tired by the time that day ends. hanging with my friends, enjoying a cigar and talking about nothing and everything, is yet another. spending time with my family, extended or otherwise, without the chaos of politics and“theories” is just one more example. this list could go on and on, what all of these samples of events have in common, is that i am not high before, during or after them and if i minded my P's and Q's i do not have any wrongs to clean up. my life is better than it has ever been and with a bit of diligence over the course of this day, it just may be a bit better tomorrow.
i may not know what situation may elicit a joyful response for me, as i have stopped expecting outcomes, as that has left me sorely disappointed in the past. for me to be okay and allow myself to feel what i am feeling, it is certainly nice when i feel a bit of joy, without warning. life is certainly more than a bit ironic in that manner, situations that once baffled me have become opportunities to shine and those that i used to dread have become the springboard into a bit of joy.
before this morning gets away from me, i think it is time to pack this up, get the dawg leashed and ready to walk and step out into the sunshine of the first day the sun starts its journey back to the North. it is a great day to celebrate that i have made it through the darkness of the season, once again, without the aid of chemistry or less than stellar behavior. that fact, in and of itself, does warm the cockles of my heart and perhaps makes me feel a bit joyful as well, just for today.

∞ DT ∞