Blog entry for:

from other addicts, so does my manner of achieving a **conscious contact**
yes i was one of those who fought the whole HIGHER POWER concept with all my will. and yes these days i am one of those who smiles knowingly when i see newcomers struggling with that same demon. i am always amazed when i watch their progression through the process, that is when they stick around for long enough to allow that process to occur. i am also more than willing to help them through that process when they ask, either implicitly or explicitly.
the truth of the matter is, just as i was unwilling to even consider this concept in my early recovery until was desperate enough to open my mind, despite the loving attention i got from those in the rooms, i must allow them to make a similar journey. that journey once it was started for me, opened me up to a whole lot more than just the GOD concept i was so adamantly against. these days i do not feel quite right unless i say a quick prayer asking for the power to stay clean today and surrendering my will and my life into the care of THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS. what i call that power varies from day to day, even from moment to moment. i can name it GOD, or HIGHER POWER, or DUDE of even F*CKIN’ GOD, because my emotional state affects my concept, or at least what i happen to name that concept. the concept is in constant evolution, and the only thing i am certain about when i think about that POWER, is that the will of that POWER is for me to stay clean today. so for right now, that i more than enough. the time has come for me to go get myself rubbed in all the right directions, and no it means a legal massage and nothing more...
and than off to face the real world some more.
TA TA FOR NOW!

∞ DT ∞