β over time, i develop a manner of prayer and meditation... β
Posted: Wed, Jul 5, 2006 07:52:14 AM
...based on what i learn from others and what i are comfortable with.
it seems i was just writing about this topic not too long ago, and i know i have written about the process of my process of becoming comfortable with conscious contact with GOD as i understand GOD, so i do not think i will go down that path today. no i think i will return to that previous topic and think about what my examination of my conscious contact has led me to change. and the truth is not much. i am still praying on a twice daily manner although i am now praying in the morning before i get out of bed and praying in the evening after a lay down for my nightly appointment with Morpheus. what i do see is a shift in my concept of what that POWER is and how that POWER effects my life. the new and powerful ways that POWER is manifesting in my life is something i have just stumbled across as i am stalled in my fourth step. being stalled where i am has allowed me the chance to understand in greater detail, my self-will and the nature of the decision i make on a daily, and sometimes hourly basis to surrender my will and my life into the care of the POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS. and no, i am not returning to the concept that i am more than one person, or that some alien force has possessed me and led me into a life in which i am powerless. i am finally coming to terms with the concept that not only the part of me i call my disease needs to surrender to that loving care, i must surrender my whole self and listen for how i can become the man i have always wanted to be. listening to my sponsor speak last night, reminded me of my focus on this set of steps, and has begun the process of me once again moving forward on my step work. i need a tool to gauge how to make decisions on implementing the forward progress of my growth into that person. and today what i am hearing is to let go of my reservations about my step work and see the writing through a different set of eyes, and of course i mean that metaphorically, my glasses and eyes work just fine, it is my head that needs a bit of retuning. and with that thought i think i will proceed into the world around me.
it seems i was just writing about this topic not too long ago, and i know i have written about the process of my process of becoming comfortable with conscious contact with GOD as i understand GOD, so i do not think i will go down that path today. no i think i will return to that previous topic and think about what my examination of my conscious contact has led me to change. and the truth is not much. i am still praying on a twice daily manner although i am now praying in the morning before i get out of bed and praying in the evening after a lay down for my nightly appointment with Morpheus. what i do see is a shift in my concept of what that POWER is and how that POWER effects my life. the new and powerful ways that POWER is manifesting in my life is something i have just stumbled across as i am stalled in my fourth step. being stalled where i am has allowed me the chance to understand in greater detail, my self-will and the nature of the decision i make on a daily, and sometimes hourly basis to surrender my will and my life into the care of the POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS. and no, i am not returning to the concept that i am more than one person, or that some alien force has possessed me and led me into a life in which i am powerless. i am finally coming to terms with the concept that not only the part of me i call my disease needs to surrender to that loving care, i must surrender my whole self and listen for how i can become the man i have always wanted to be. listening to my sponsor speak last night, reminded me of my focus on this set of steps, and has begun the process of me once again moving forward on my step work. i need a tool to gauge how to make decisions on implementing the forward progress of my growth into that person. and today what i am hearing is to let go of my reservations about my step work and see the writing through a different set of eyes, and of course i mean that metaphorically, my glasses and eyes work just fine, it is my head that needs a bit of retuning. and with that thought i think i will proceed into the world around me.
∞ DT ∞