Blog entry for:

with the feeling that i should be further along in my recovery than i am?
well honestly, i feel that way every time i get to this point in my annual cycle, and although i know better, that tape still runs on infinite loop. and with the type of day i had yesterday, i would say cripes when does this get better.
well no one ever said this whole recovery gig would be easy, and days like yesterday a just part of the package. i was ready by 2 PM just to go back to bed and call it quits forever.
so it goes. today had glimmers of just another one of those days where i can do nothing right. however, i decided that i needed to accept the whole enchilada and suck it up and move forward. so i wrote a letter to the sponsee who is rotting in county jail, asked for professional help in recovering some lost data, and sat down to smoke a cigar and write this little missive.
i am where i am in my recovery, the only goal i need to use to measure my success is whether i am clean today or not. on that measure, i am right where i am supposed to be, good times, bad times or even average times.
so the next yard stick is am i less insane than i was when i came to recovery? without a doubt, i am even less insane than i was yesterday, so on that yardstick i am doing better than i believe.
another measure is that i am grateful to be alive and clean today? and that answer is an unequivocal YES!
so using those three simple measures, i am okay with the progress of my recovery. so i guess i should do a bit of step work, call my sponsor and go to a meeting today, and see where i end-up.
life is good and i am getting better!

∞ DT ∞