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a proven program of recovery -- bit by bit. i can say with utmost certitude, that i did not arrive at where i am, physically, ,emotionally, mentally and spiritually, overnight. the journey to now, has been long, fraught with peril and the result of some very hard work to reveal the deepest darkest places within me. the end result, at least to date, has exceeded my wildest expectations, and yet, i know, i am not done. although i am a bit apprehensive about the medical procedures i will be having tomorrow, i also know that playing ostrich and ignoring my own health will not make matters any better. i came to recovery with an attitude that not knowing i was sick was better than worrying about how it was going to kill me. the end result was that i left my Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) untreated for the first five years of my recovery and the end result was that i now have Barrett's Esophogus. so it goes, ignorance is far from bliss and these days i would rather keep on top of what may or may not be going on inside of me, rather than being “surprised” five years down the road.
moving into the more spiritual realm, i know that without recovery i would more than likely have been institutionalized by now, either by the medical profession or the justice system. living in denial and allowing things over which i do have some control over to spin as the would, created the perfect storm that brought me into the rooms over nine thousand days ago. as i stayed clean and watched my peers and acquaintances, i have seen my story played over and over and over again. those that “get” recovery, move on to lives they can take a bit of pride in, those that do not? well, the results are often, not that pretty and certainly not something one would wish to share. today, i get to be more than i ever was and even though the poop train starts in less than twelve hours, i am okay with what i need to do, over the next thirty-six hours, just for right now.

∞ DT ∞