Blog entry for:

each year, as i stumble across this particular reading, i pause and reflect on what recovery has brought and often go down the rabbit hole of what it has not. this year, i stop and consider, i find myself in a new and different place, one that seems more balanced and certainly more nuanced than i expected. for reasons beyond my ken, there is a certain level of gratitude that i generally do not feel and even though the world is spinning down into what seems like madness and chaos, there is a level of balance in my life, as i seek that quiet place within. my spiritual path does stress finding the quiet balance and making amends to myself is certainly creating a new paradigm. perhaps, it is all about growing up and “adulting” a bit more. where all that takes me, is it is what it is and this is one “gift horse” that i need not look in the mouth.
all that aside, i do live in a place of unmet expectations, from time to time. i still want, what i want, and i wanted it yesterday! as i sit here and listen to my home group, multi-tasking, as it were, i am certainly not into hearing the political crap that one of my peers, chooses to spew. i am really trying to disqualify myself this morning, from attending this meeting. i am so freaking different today and that is certainly something that i need to get over, if i am going to be present and not create the counter-argument to what will be shared. on that happy note, i think the time has come to post this and let go of being my own worst enemy, it is after all a good day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞