Blog entry for:

... topping all this off, i have the love, care, and guidance of the God i have come to understand in recovery.
so yes i am grateful for the gifts that i have been given along the path of recovery. it is interesting that these are called gifts, because gifts are always freely given and come without strings attached. the self-knowledge, the serenity, the ability to travel to be a part of a world convention and the FAITH in my HIGHER POWER are part of my life, because i choose to live a program of recovery. i did the work; step work, service work, and learning how to live and got these gifts without any expectation that i could get them. for me, the only reward i get for staying clean is the chance to CHOOSE to stay clean tomorrow. those things that were listed in the entry for today, and that i have listed are truly gifts from this new manner of living, and if they were all to stop coming tomorrow, i do believe that i could and would stay clean, after all, the energy i devoted to using was way more energy than i devote to my daily program.
ironic is it not, that an addict like me, could find a different way to live that does not require the daily event of getting high? what is even more ironic is that in my native skill set, is the ability to be more than i ever was. i am trustworthy for the most part today, and i can be relied upon to do the next right thing, even when the next right thing is not what i want to do.
i am grateful for this new way of living, and the time has come to get off this computer and go express that joy and gratitude with the thousands of other people just like me that have gathered in San Antonio. yes there will be lines today, yes there will be unpleasant people who are stressed and selfish, and yes i may even end up being one of those people today. i can however plan on being grateful, put a smile in my heart and see what the day will bring. it is all about me, after all today!

∞ DT ∞