ฮฑ when those i love are grieving, ฯ
Posted: Mon, Sep 10, 2007 08:00:15 AM
simply being present is perhaps the most compassionate contribution i can offer.
okay once more with feeling!
so i wrote this entire blog once already and it disappeared into the ether, as it sometimes does when i am far too slow in getting it saved. so it goes.
first things first -- Leonard, congratulations on one year of days in recovery, it is an honor for me to share my clean date with you. you are the first addict i have ever seen that was honestly "struck clean" and for giving me the chance to witness that particular miracle, i thank you.
yes i have a decade of days clean today, and for the first time i actually am grateful for this particular reading. i have often whined about what i thought about this reading, but this morning i finally "get it!"
it has been part of my recovery process to have to go through the grief gig. and as i ponder about my feelings and reactions to those times, one of the things that used to, and probably still will, anger me, is the platitudes offered because those with whom i share my life with feel they need to say something, anything. this reading reminds me that when i am in the same situation, watching someone going through grief, that the best thing i can do is to give them a hug and let them know i have been there before and i am willing to listen, if they are willing to talk. as inadequate and impotent as that feels, this particular reading suggests that is the best course of action. it is not my task to take their pain away, or even lessen it, it is my place to offer them the opportunity to lessen their burden of pain by letting them share their pain. simple, elegant and without a doubt the best course of action for me to follow, and based on my own experience, the most acceptable way to be a part of their process.
so perhaps the second time is the charm this morning, time to shower and face another day as a recovering addict.
okay once more with feeling!
so i wrote this entire blog once already and it disappeared into the ether, as it sometimes does when i am far too slow in getting it saved. so it goes.
first things first -- Leonard, congratulations on one year of days in recovery, it is an honor for me to share my clean date with you. you are the first addict i have ever seen that was honestly "struck clean" and for giving me the chance to witness that particular miracle, i thank you.
yes i have a decade of days clean today, and for the first time i actually am grateful for this particular reading. i have often whined about what i thought about this reading, but this morning i finally "get it!"
it has been part of my recovery process to have to go through the grief gig. and as i ponder about my feelings and reactions to those times, one of the things that used to, and probably still will, anger me, is the platitudes offered because those with whom i share my life with feel they need to say something, anything. this reading reminds me that when i am in the same situation, watching someone going through grief, that the best thing i can do is to give them a hug and let them know i have been there before and i am willing to listen, if they are willing to talk. as inadequate and impotent as that feels, this particular reading suggests that is the best course of action. it is not my task to take their pain away, or even lessen it, it is my place to offer them the opportunity to lessen their burden of pain by letting them share their pain. simple, elegant and without a doubt the best course of action for me to follow, and based on my own experience, the most acceptable way to be a part of their process.
so perhaps the second time is the charm this morning, time to shower and face another day as a recovering addict.
∞ DT ∞