Blog entry for:

i carry it everywhere and share freely, leaving the results to a Power greater than myself.
yes i am writing this at O dark thirty, just could not sleep any longer, so instead of fighting my body, i decided to surrender to it and get up and start my day. there was a time when i loved this time in the morning, and actually it is not bad to be a bit ahead on my travails today, but i severely digress, after all this about carrying a message and leaving the results to a POWER GREATER THAN ME…
so considering the topic at hand, i wish i could say, that this is something i am quite adept at. i am very results driven, and i want to see the fruits of my efforts blossom right here and right now. this sort of drive is excellent for line of work i do, however it is poorly suited to the service work i do in carrying a message of recovery to a newcomer, a medium-timer or even <gasp> an old-timer. i know part of this is just being human, it see,s too me that as a human, i want to see instant results and change what i need to if the results are not satisfactory. well when it comes to carrying the message, i have to learn to practice patience, patience and more patience. it has been my experience that anything i think i glimpse in the here and now about the effects of my message on another addict, is usually wrong. DANG IT! those who i would wager heavy money on relapsing, often surprise me with long term recovery, and unfortunately the converse is also true, those i judge to have gotten this whole gig, and put together some clean time may relapse. i am just a powerless over that situation as i am over whether or not another member gets it! admitting that i am powerless over the effect of carrying the message is certainly an empowering bit of knowledge. it frees me of the responsibility of anyone else’s recovery and allows me to concentrate on mine. and after all i am responsible for my recovery only and no one else’s in the long and short run. so dropping the burden of carrying another addict lightens my load today and i get to move forward into the next task this morning. TTFN!

∞ DT ∞