Blog entry for:

FAITH, mean that each and every day i stay clean, ask for the power to stay clean and live an active program of recovery, i have the opportunity to get all that i need and maybe some of the stuff i desire. most of that means things going my way and the source material specifically spoke of having FAITH even when that is not the case. i am not one of those who goes around asking a POWER greater than i am for this and that, but i do believe that there is some POWER that fuels my recovery and allows me the FREEDOM to live as i do. life in my skin is far from perfect as the commute this morning was a perfect example. for some reason, my usual route to work was slow going and a stretch of highway that usually takes five to seven minutes to drive through was forty minutes of stop and go traffic. i allowed myself the freedom to follow direction, after a few minutes of willful, obstinate stubbornness, of my traffic app and probably did not save much time, but certainly saved a whole lot of my sanity. i may not not be all here this morning as i pound this out, but at least i am here and willing to do what it takes.
my physical therapist chided me yesterday for not wearing the new knee brace, she had suggested. i am wearing it today, as i was not really all that happy with how it felt yesterday. i know it will take some getting used to and my knee felt good as i climbed the six flights of stairs from my car to my desk this morning. while driving the brace was less than comfortable and the extra time in traffic did not help the situation. i see that i have to have a bit of FAITH in my therapist as she is doing her best to get me ready to go to the top of Africa and tomorrow afternoon will be the first test of my rehab, as i climb several hundred feet and come back down again. i know that i need to let go of any expectations i may have an just let my body remember that i do not have to ”pound” the trail, i can allow myself to practice landing softer and using my built in shock absorbers, which i have been painfully taught, are not my knees.
anyhow, it is time to coffee up and get going on writing my next “masterpiece,” which happens to be a rewrite of code i did six months ago. it is not that it was wrong, it is simply that the code i wrote was far to “chatty” for the recipients and i need to use a bit of discretion to turn it back on again. life is like that, i often have to edit how i did something in the past to fit the current circumstances and i have to allow myself to have the FAITH that change is not a bad thing and that i have a path forward, even when my life feels as if it is falling apart, just for today.

∞ DT ∞