Blog entry for:

because i cannot read minds or know the motives and desires of anyone else, i simply have to hope for the best.
this reading seems to be about carrying the message, and perhaps it is, what i take away from the reading this morning is more about what message am i carrying and surrendering to my powerlessness over another person. i can say that lately, the message i have been carrying by my behavior is less than hopeful. the anger that has been part of my spiritual makeup over the past months is finally subsiding, and today perhaps i can carry the message that the program works, at least for this addict. i have always been fairly certain that emotions and physical state were intractably bound together. yesterday i went and took care of some of my physical symptoms and this morning i am lighter and much more hopeful. i also took care of some of the spiritual stuff i have been avoiding, so that too may have ,lifted my glum self out of the cauldron of anger. who knows? i certainly do not even pretend to understand what goes on in me most days! so perhaps today, i can be an attraction for the fellowship that has given me this new life, only time will tell!
so how can i tell if someone is really ready to adopt this manner of living? i cannot, to say anything else would imply that i somehow had an inside track to what others are thinking and feeling. even though i have a few days clean, i have yet to stumble upon that little skill, maybe if i stay clean long enough it will be revealed. and wild monkeys may fly out my ass at the same time! so all i can do, is be an example of what to do or not to do based on my current spiritual state. today i feel i can show anyone that this program works for me, and offer the HOPE that if they are like me, IT WILL WORK FOR THEM TOO! so time to go out into the world and be a living twelfth step.

∞ DT ∞