Blog entry for:
Thu, Dec 27, 2007 08:20:37 AM
α i know that i owe my freedom from active addiction to the grace of a loving HIGHER POWER. ω
posted: Thu, Dec 27, 2007 08:20:37 AM
if that Higher Power can perform such a miracle as relieving my obsession to use drugs, surely this Power can also relieve my insanity in all its forms. the most ironic part of that statement is that when i got clean, i did not think i was insane at all. sure, i used against my will, and sure i violated whatever code of moral conduct i had left, and sure i rationalized and justified those actions away. i may have believed i had a problem with integrity but not one of sanity. so when i was told in those early days that i was insane and only a POWER GREATER THAN me and the substances i used could relieve me of that, i was more than a bit skeptical. so it goes, my first sponsor told me that he believed that my intelligence was my greatest enemy, and that i would have a difficult time accepting a life of recovery. well, here i sit a decade later, and i would have to agree with his astute judgment all those days ago. i had to let go of what i thought i knew, and recognize my fractured belief system for what it was, the support system for active addiction. replacing that support system with a system to support and nourish my ongoing recovery was a task that i have undertaken, and a process that is still ongoing today.
so when i consider the progress i have made, i do see that i have been restored to sanity in many aspects of my life, since sanity is a relative term. my behaviors while still not normal or sane are more sane than ever before, and i have developed FAITH that they will become even more sane as time continues, AS LONG AS I STAY OUT OF THE WAY! that is always the rub, me getting and staying out of the way, however that topic is quite another kettle of stinky fish, that i will explore on another day. i am grateful today for the sanity that has been restored to me, and will do whatever it takes to allow that process to continue today. after all, that is the best of all possible worlds for this recovering addict.
so when i consider the progress i have made, i do see that i have been restored to sanity in many aspects of my life, since sanity is a relative term. my behaviors while still not normal or sane are more sane than ever before, and i have developed FAITH that they will become even more sane as time continues, AS LONG AS I STAY OUT OF THE WAY! that is always the rub, me getting and staying out of the way, however that topic is quite another kettle of stinky fish, that i will explore on another day. i am grateful today for the sanity that has been restored to me, and will do whatever it takes to allow that process to continue today. after all, that is the best of all possible worlds for this recovering addict.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ restoration to sanity ∞ 249 words ➥ Monday, December 27, 2004 by: donnot∞ sanity, an exercise in relativity? ∞ 405 words ➥ Tuesday, December 27, 2005 by: donnot
∞ i sometimes now believe that my particular brand of insanity is hopeless. ∞ 478 words ➥ Wednesday, December 27, 2006 by: donnot
∞ the insanity of my addiction recedes into the past as i begin experiencing moments of sanity in my recovery ∞ 519 words ➥ Saturday, December 27, 2008 by: donnot
× now that i have finally admitted my insanity and seen examples × 773 words ➥ Sunday, December 27, 2009 by: donnot
→ the process of coming to believe restores me to sanity ← 785 words ➥ Monday, December 27, 2010 by: donnot
∑ i thank the POWER that fuels my recovery for each sane act in my life, ∑ 601 words ➥ Tuesday, December 27, 2011 by: donnot
µ my FAITH the POWER that fuels my recovery grows as i µ 604 words ➥ Thursday, December 27, 2012 by: donnot
Ø all i have to do is think about the sanity Ø 767 words ➥ Friday, December 27, 2013 by: donnot
… a belief in a POWER that can fuel my recovery grows as … 501 words ➥ Saturday, December 27, 2014 by: donnot
❃ GOD could ❃ 816 words ➥ Sunday, December 27, 2015 by: donnot
☠ doomed to repeat ☣ 610 words ➥ Tuesday, December 27, 2016 by: donnot
🌡 moments of sanity 🌣 528 words ➥ Wednesday, December 27, 2017 by: donnot
🕳 all the manifestations 🕳 545 words ➥ Thursday, December 27, 2018 by: donnot
😱 my particular brand 😲 596 words ➥ Friday, December 27, 2019 by: donnot
💨 moving into action 💨 297 words ➥ Sunday, December 27, 2020 by: donnot
🌈 indications of 🌈 540 words ➥ Monday, December 27, 2021 by: donnot
😵 being relieved 🤪 510 words ➥ Tuesday, December 27, 2022 by: donnot
🌜 harmony and 🌛 511 words ➥ Wednesday, December 27, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
3) Hence he who (relies on) the strength of his forces does not conquer;
and a tree which is strong will fill the out-stretched arms, (and
thereby invites the feller.)