Blog entry for:

as part of something greater, and seek to live in harmony with it. for me, that something greater has been the fellowship that has given me this new manner in which to live. finding myself thirty days away from 10,000 days of being clean in a row, still is beyond belief, as i was certainly one of those who heard more than once from the old-timers that they did not expect me to stay clean until noon. of course those folks were in a different fellowship than i ended up in and were certainly following a different path than i am. for me, no matter how many times it takes for someone to get clean and actually stay clean, there is always hope. it was that HOPE as expressed by my peers way back when that kept me coming back, even when noon seemed to be an impossible goal to achieve.
sitting here on this tropical morning, i understand that my actions are limited by a whole lot of others, who take forever to make any sort of decision. i am grateful for the opportunity and yet a bit resentful wasting the day away, as they sleep in. my attempt to move my partner along, was unsuccessful and i am now going to have to remember what traveling with this group is all about. waiting, rushing, milling around indecisively and slow motion chaos as they try to please everyone and no one gets what they want. 😭 😭 😭 so there is my little bit of fine whine and it is time to move along emotionally and spiritually.
right here and right now, i am ready to peek at what is nearby to grab a snack as the rest of our party gets their beauty sleep. i know that from here on out, i have to let go and let everyone else figure out what to do. it is a good day to be clean and a better day to remember that i am where i am by the grace of a program of recovery.

∞ DT ∞