Blog entry for:

as i practice the program, i gain a whole new outlook on those around me by gaining a new outlook on myself.Well here is sit, listening to how our fellowship is growing around the world, unable to hookup with the interest to let my thoughts run wild. The reading this morning was about who really gets better. Of course those I recover with do get better as they grow in their recovery, I am however the object of this reading this morning, not them. It is my recovery that effects my outlook on how I see those around me, and when I finally post this missive to the unwashed, untamed cyber world, who know what I will add. After all I have all day or at least all morning to deal with this. This does remind me, I do have a responsibility to take care of.
Back in a flash!
And I am, missed my favorite part of the whole fellowship development part in the middle east, but I would have forgotten about my responsibility to return our unsold merchandise.
So back to what I was thinking before, it is ironic that I find the members who found the most disagreeable, have become some of my closest friends, as I grew. The unfortunate part of my growth is that some of my oldest and dearest friends in recovery are no longer part of my life. This is especially true of my second sponsor. I love mikie, he was a friend before he was my sponsor. He got me through ten steps before he disappeared on to the road via Santa Fe. He was instrumental in my growth through that period, but by the time he returned to my life, I had grown, and unfortunately he had not. Instead of growing into a relationship that has blossomed over time, that one died and withered on the vine. Yes I had a resentment, yes I held on for longer than I needed to, and yes what he had to offer I was no longer willing to take. I have done a 4th step, I realize that the nature of my resentment was not towards him, but towards me, for not letting go while I could still see things in a healthy manner. But all of that is water under the bridge so to speak, and today I regret the loss of that relationship, and I hope that one day we will be once again return to being friends, the nature of my hope is that i am still willing to work steps, and am still willing to allow the process to happen, and as a result I will get better and the relationship has a chance to once again grow and thrive. So back to the task at hand, paying attention to the WSC!

∞ DT ∞