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new outlook on those around me? more on that a bit later, as the news of the day has popped up to the top of the stack. fist off who the fVck does Elizabeth Warren and the hard left wing of the failed political party think they are? so what if the former POTUS takes a huge fee for speaking at Wall Street, he is a private citizen. in this country, making money is supposed to be a good thing and making lots of money is often seen as a very good thing. he is no longer running for office and i guess those whiny bastards would have him wearing hair shirts and sitting in a cave somewhere, so they could idolize the man, or something like that. me, i see a 400K paycheck to a FORMER politician as am interesting twist, given that his policies to reign in their corpulent, greedy and destructive ways, are being rolled back by the current POTUS as he “drains the swamp.” which brings me to the second piece of political jabber infecting my serenity this morning. it is becoming evident that the closer that we the people are getting to the truth about how involved Russia was in the last election cycle, and who they paid to be a partner in the current administration, the louder the rhetoric sounds out of the Oval Office. crickets when asked about Michael Flynn, then war-mongering and mud slinging rhetoric instead. the divert with outrageous tactics is starting to wear a bit thin and i for one, am tiring of the smoke and mirrors that the current POTUS is propagating to make himself and his cronies richer at the expense of the very electorate he convinced to vote for him. after all, nothing that he done in his first 100 days has made me feel any safer, or secure in my future, in fact, the opposite is quite true and now i see that we have the best government money and Russian influence can buy.
okay, political qualms aside, the notion that through the steps i will somehow be elevated to a saint is an interesting premise and one i find hard to accept. it may be true, that as i work to implement the steps in my life i do become more tolerant and loving. i also have become more honest and self-aware and part of the theme i have been stuck on lately seems to be putting those principles at odds. yes i should learn to “tolerate” the most outrageous bullsh!t is not yet part of who i am. taking a newcomer to the liquor store or puking all over the group, time and again, are not behaviors i condone by my silence. what i can do is stop being a victim of my misplaced tolerance, it is not the person who i am intolerant of, it is their behavior and i need no longer allow myself to volunteer for the misery that is their life. in this sense i am getting better. i forget that misery is optional, and if all i hear is mess, than it is me who has to change something, even if it is just my location for the three plus minutes. the one thing i am beginning to notice, is how put off i am by the behavior of others, especially when they seem to put on airs of being spiritual and serene. maybe there is a bit of envy and jealousy there, as i am no longer comfortable fronting what i am not. maybe it is a bit of FEAR, at them getting away with something that i have lost the skills to accomplish. or maybe it is my inquisitor self springing back into action and ready to burn all the fellowship heretics on the stake of public opinion. today i do not know. what i do know is that i am powerless over these feelings and as i am am nibbling at the start of my FIRST STEP, these realizations seem to becoming fast and furious these days. just for today, i will be okay with where i am at and allow myself the freedom to feel what i feel and let it go. yews even an extremist black and white person as me, can find a path to moderation and <GASP> tolerance and love.

∞ DT ∞