Blog entry for:

**when the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, we will change.** i stay in situations that are no longer working far longer than i have to simply because what is familiar feels safer than the unknown. fear of change and fear of the unknown and fear of this and fear of that. it often seems that i am so fear-based that why even bother to get out of bed in the morning, afternoon or at all. if i am going to walk around in a constant state of fear what is the point? well, the point is, that for me, the amount of fear that rules my life has been lessened to some degree. in fact, i hardly notice it anymore. does that mean that like chronic pain, that i have become so used to it, that i do not notice, or it is in the process of being replaced by my growing FAITH? if FAITH is the answer, then FAITH in what?
i could blithely say that my FAITH in a POWER GREATER THAN MYSELF overrules my FEAR and move on into this father’s day. that would be succinct and germane. however it would leave out a whole lot of things pieces and parts that have become commonplace in my life. things like actively living a program of recovery based on the spiritual principles that i have been given from the fellowship that gave me this new wonderful life. parts like the self-inspection and awareness that comes from writing out and sharing my step work. and parts like hearing what i need to hear from the members who choose to share their recovery with me. yes, it is true that all of those things come from that POWER. but the FAITH i live in, most of the time, comes from something within me, and is part of the process of change that i FEAR. just like those old shoes are so comfortable, but look and smell like they needed replacement many moons ago, the person i have been, is a known entity, and the man i am becoming is not. i can choose to live in crisis mode, resisting, fighting and holding on to what i know, or i can surrender and allow the changes manifest inside of me to happen at the pace that they will. it is a choice today, and i believe that i will allow that change to happen. it is after all a good day to recover.

∞ DT ∞