Blog entry for:

is quite an appropriate topic for this morning. i have been coming to terms with the past i created for myself, over that past year or so and as i look forward, i see there is not a whole lot of that garbage that i really wish to carry forward on my journey. to start with, what happened, happened and even though i still get choked up when i think of it, i can sit in self-pity and blame., or just accept it as a fact of my life and move forward. today, i am ready to find room in my heart6 to forgive and move forward, BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET, as i owe that to myself. by remembering that primary lesson in shame and humiliation, i get to make sure i do not pile that on to anyone else, as the damage it may cause is incalculable.
i got to share in a very large meeting this morning and i went down the path of who i was, who i am and who i am becoming. i certainly know who i was, even though no one else in the world ever saw that person. i am getting to know who i am, as i live life as my “real” self and leave what i am not, behind. i am not quite sure, of who i am becoming and that is where FAITH steps in. based on all i have uncovered since i started living a program of active recovery, that FAITH is not misplaced in the slightest. what i do see is a bit of HOPE. i did not minimize, deflect or diminish any of approval i received form those in the meeting this morning. i accepted them at face value and moved on, which it is time to do as well. i have to earn my daily bread, so it is about time i start doing so, just for right now.

∞ DT ∞