Blog entry for:

this morning i am in a much better place. not writing my daily inventory for several days created a situation where i was out of touch with myself. what is really going on is that i am resistant to moving forward in my step work, i still want to live in self-will rather than finish my second step and move into the third.
well the reading this morning addressed that issue very well!
the point is that although self-will is not working for me and causing me a great deal of pain, it is familiar, kind of like those old stinky shoes that i have spent years breaking into my idiosyncratic feet. they look awful, they smell, and they are falling apart. nevertheless, i do not want to discard them. well the time has come for me to discard my will and move forward into the next phase of my recovery. i can choose to remain where i am and be miserable or i can take a small risk and do what is in front of me. my grace period has expired at the end of the second step, and i NEED to grow into what i will be.
∞ DT ∞