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i had blaming others for my shortcomings down to a fine science. In recovery, one of the first things i strive to develop is a new attitude. and i am still striving for this. it would be wonderful to say, that every day and in every way i have a positive attitude, the truth is that i am better at this then ever before, but far from perfect. be that as it may, i am feeling great this morning, and when i am feeling good it is quite easy to have a positive attitude. no anger issues today, a great workout, and who knows what the day will bring.
but back to what i heard this morning, playing the blame game. this is quite the trick, and the amazing part was how long it worked for. in fact, early recovery was full of the blame game. it was facilitated by treatment, after all, what i thought they were asking me, was why i was an addict. so back i went to my past to find the one event or series of events that started my addiction. what i discovered was, what they were really asking was, "was i an addict?"
so my next trick was to blame all that was wrong in my life on addiction. kind of like the devil made me do kit argument. after all, if i am powerless over my addiction than i am powerless over my behaviors because i do not know any better. that may have been the case at one time. but truthfully, the decisions i made in active addiction were conscious choices, and i did not care about the consequences. there are days i miss the devil made me do it argument, after all that is a quite convenient manner to dismiss any responsibility for anything that i do. however, those days are gone, i understand that im am an addict, i also accept responsibility for my recovery and need to do whatever is necessary to live a program of recovery, which includes taking the blame for my actions and behaviors.
so how does all this relate back to developing a positive attitude and fostering a positive environment by doing what i need to do, to be more than the person i walked into the room as. that process, in and of itself, creates a positive outlook in my life, and provides me the HOPE that no matter what life throws at me today, i can survive and stay clean, yet one more day. so on that note, it is time to sign-off and get some work accomplished.

∞ DT ∞