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really, a cynic such as myself, writing about a positive attitude, what the fVCk is that all about? it is true, i am no spiritual guru and i rarely puke a rainbow or fart a daisy or two, so how do i express a positive attitude when all around me is going to sh!t? i cannot speak for anyone but myself, but i can say that when my peers share how perfect their lives have become since entering recovery, i find it difficult to swallow. in fact, i instantly wonder what they are hiding and tune them out. sad but true, i probably have missed a whole lot of stuff across the course of my recovery.
for me, life is life. it has its moments that fill me with joy, with gratitude and with a feeling of being connected. sometimes the events in my life are to my “liking,” and sometimes not so much. the rose-colured glasses have long since been removed and i see things for what they are. i no longer need to question the motives of others, although i often do. i no longer need to worry when the next shoe is going to drop, and i do not have to fall back on “GOD works in mysterious ways.” acceptance of what happens, is a process, that has taken me a long time to get good at, and i work to perfect that spiritual principle on a daily basis. no need for em to fall back on the fact that “practicing,” when i behave in a less than spiritual ,manner, as i am working to become whole and be accountable to do what oi say i am going to do.
in my spiritual path, the whole consists of positive and negative, and this mirrors physics as well. each is needed to achieve balance. just as ions with a charge attract other ions and form bonds, to create some of the most useful; substances known to man, so does the negative and positive aspects of life attract to create the whole and balanced me. a balanced life is one where all is acceptable, and none needs to be dwelt upon, rationalized or wished away. i have yet to achieve that balance but i am well on my way.
using the reading as my template, each time i decide to act spiritually, i am creating a positive attitude. each time i choose to take responsibility for being disrespectful or dishonest, i am returning to a more balanced life. each day i decide to stay clean, no matter what, i am building a world where even a sh!t like me, can be a beacon of HOPE. practicing integrity and taking responsibility for my actions create a positive attitude. hiding in relationships, material possessions or status symbols, does not. telling others what they need to do, rather than focusing on what i have done and continue to do, allows me the FREEDOM to recovery, instead of falling into the pit of despair.
today? well today i am going to spend some time taking care of something i said i was going to do. i am going to move forward in my recovery and find a better way to do things than i did yesterday. and yes, if i mess up, i will make it right, instead of blowing it off, after all i am far too busy living a life in active recovery, to leave a trail of sh!t, in my wake.

∞ DT ∞