Blog entry for:

okay i have to admit, when applied to what i share with my peers, **often** feels as if, all i should share are the rainbows, unicorns and petunias. i will admit, that much of what i share here and in meetings is a bit on the darker side of life. it is my firmly held belief, that i really do not know **what** a newcomer **needs** to hear to stay here. i am not even some sort of expert about what my peers need to hear. as a result, over the course of the days i have been clean, i have developed a manner of sharing that addresses what is in my heart, whether or not it can viewed as **positive** or **negative,** and that is serving me well.
that last statement may sound a bit self-serving and selfish, and perhaps it is. the truth is, i share for myself and HOPE that what i share, may help another deal with what life is throwing at them, in the here and now. i have been clean for a minute now and life has thrown all sorts of things my way, during that time. so far, i have found the ways and means to stay clean and continue my commitment to living a program of recovery. that does not mean that somehow i have this gig all figured out. i can still allow my anger to morph into rage and resentment. i can wallow in self-pity and blame everyone and everything else for my current troubles, deflecting responsibility fr the consequences that come down the pike, due to my own actions. i can still live in a delusional state of mind, believing i have far more power than i actually do. the HOPE here, is that most of the time, i can move back into the grace that recovery has given me, and have yet another modicum of experience to share with my peers.
life is good on this morning after, and the time has come to post this bit of the world of recovery, as i see it, on to the inter-webs and get out for a short and slow walk, to help myself heal from another hike of far more miles than i am used to, at elevations far above where i live and up slopes far steeper and higher than i am used to climbing. that, too, is a gift of recovery: the DESIRE to see the world from over 14,000 feet above sea level.

∞ DT ∞