Blog entry for:

i simply exercise my best judgment, check with my sponsor, pray, use all the information at hand, and make the most reasonable plans i can.
so what it gets down here to is self-will, true will and the will of my HIGHER POWER, and how any plans that i may be considering fit into that little trio of the wills. naturally, the had to talk about theories of fate and destiny, and that particular red herring throws a huge monkey wrench into my considerations of what plans i need to make. what i believe that it comes down to, is simply that i can make plans, do the footwork to further them to their conclusion, and live in FAITH that the outcome of my plans will be exactly what they are supposed to be. taking responsibility for my life, and learning to accpet that i do not always know what is the best outcome for me.
my, my, my, sounds like dueling spiritual principles (cue banjo player).
well it has been my experience that spiritual principles are never at odds with each other, regardless of how it appears upon first glance. yes i could live my life by default, drifting through my days without a plan or goal in sight. in fact, much of my life in active addiction was lived in such a manner. as long as i had what i needed to take care of not being sick that day, i could give a sh!t what else happened. secure in the knowledge that bother was no guiding plan or force, the easier simpler way was to live by default and allow the universe to progress as it would. BUT if i was lacking what i needed to feed my head, then the scheming, manipulating universal planner took over to secure by any means, that which i lacked.
i do have peers and friends who are so certain that they will be provided for, they do not bother to make any plans at all, and live their lives by meddling in the lives of others, after all, they have a direct line, know the outcome, so why concern themselves with dealing with their plans from day to day.
but this is not about them, this is about me finding a balance between my plans, letting go of outcomes, and doing the next right thing, to keep my plans moving towards their conclusion. in these uncertain times, i have to keep my eyes open for opportunities to expand my base of customers, and also accept the possibility that i may need to reenter the nine to five working culture. but i can also move through my days with the FAITH, that if i pay attention to what is going on, i will know when the time to abandon my home work and move back into a paycheck world is upon me. so my plans for today? a bit of work, a bit of recycling, a bit of a meeting and a bit of doing nothing but reading my book of the month. not much, but more than enough to fill my day. the outcome? as i see it, it has yet to be determined!

∞ DT ∞