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and the First Tradition, certainly seem to be an excellent pairing, sort of like cherries and pork, a bit unexpected but once one tries it out, one wonders why it took so long to give it a whirl. here is where i insert a reality based but disparaging observation about who i was when i walked into the rooms and before i accepted the full measure of what was at the root of my problems. i was not a kind person, UNLESS, i believed i could get something by being kind. part of the zero-sum game that i believed was the path to having relationships with others. every act of kindness, came with a string attached and i had no qualms about living in that manner, as i was certain that was how everyone did it. a few steps and more than a few days later i learned that not only wrong, i was way off the track.
it was not as if i had to learn to be kind, i was brought up by society and my family, to practice kindness. what i had to do, was learn to have the desire to be kind, for no reason whatsoever, except maybe it was the next correct thing to do. learning how to be kind, with no expectation of return has turned into quite a journey and although i may be closer to the destination, i am fairly certain this trip is far from over. practicing kindness in my home group, no matter who shows up is without a doubt, something i can strive to do. there are a few folks who avoid my home group because they have a resentment or three. if i am at the center of their anger and i know it, it is difficult to let go of what i think, they thing about me and welcome to the group. that is on me, as it really is NOT my bidness what others may think of me, especially in the fellowship and the rooms. i need to remind myself to get over my bad self when these opportunities arises and be a bit better of a person, than i may want to be, as that is the way, for me anyhow.
it is time to post this little exercise to the inter-webs and move my workplace to the cigar store for a few hours. it is a great day for me to remember that kindness costs me nothing and even if there is no reward, i am a better person when i choose to treat someone with the kindness with which i desire. so off to the races and on to my next task.

∞ DT ∞