Blog entry for:

i can move away from blaming circumstances — or myself — and into living the solution. well race fans, it is almost show time for me. of course, like a kid on my first day of school, what sleep i got last night was hardly what i normally get, and i know that by the time the weekend ends, i will more than likely be sleep deprived. is it the addict within? maybe, or maybe it is just a human reaction to what would be a stressful situation for anyone. be that as it may, what i need to do this morning, is LET THE FVCK GO! i have done all i could do, i am here and i am present for what may come up anything more is beyond my capabilities, either as a human being or a person in recovery.
did i dream of being an addict when i was a kid,? you know for a long time i would have said no. there has always been a part of me that wanted more from life than i was getting, and that part of me always dreamed of excitement, adventure, notoriety, and being the bad boy. so in my heart, there probably was a secret desire to be an addict, waiting to be tripped into action. this morning i am grateful to be an addict, it is after all, the only reason i am in Grand Junction about to be a part of the big show. had i been a so called normal person, i would have never had bthis particular opportunity, and this opportunity os what is making me the man i am.
so it is time to jump in the shower and start to prepare for the day ahead. today is the easy day, and i will do my dang bet to live it one moment at a time, after all, tomorrow i can always freak out!

∞ DT ∞