Blog entry for:

i can approach the my difficulty with another, from their point of view. so as i prepare to get some work done before heading out for a quickie, mini-vacation, i am struck about what a week this has been,. the emotional roller-coaster has taken me everywhere and yet i am still here. i lost one iof the men who chose to allow me to sponsor them, to the ravages of addiction. i got an instant job, just add a suit. one of the men i sponsor, took a HUGE step in FAITH and landed in the arms of a caring HIGHER POWER. another has been given the opportunity to make a choice that will affect our relationship form here on forward. i had to do some homework and got to clean up some naive code i wrote way back when, i learned a new technology and became proficient in it, and on and on.
oh yeah, one of those difficult people in my life reached out to me and asked, in the middle of all of this maelstrom of change and growth, if i was alright. now that i am actually taking a minute to catch my breath, i would have to say YES I AM ALRIGHT, in fact i am better than i have been in a long time. life happens, there are some things i have power over, and i do my best to exercise that power. one of those things is how i handle the emotions that my relationships with so-called difficult people bring up. the emotions, in and of themselves, are far beyond my control without the use of some sort of chemistry or behavior. the healthy choice is to address those feelings as they occur and see how i can use them to better my life and my growth. the simplest of these emotions for me, and perhaps the strongest because i am the most familiar with it, is anger. walking away forma situation instead of blowing up allows me time to let the heat pass. trust me, my anger is quite the tidal wave of emotion, and allowing it to wash over me, then return to be rational IS BEST COURSE. there are however all sorts of other emotions that i get when i deal with difficult people, they are much more subtle, and influence my behavior in so many subtle ways that it becomes difficult for me to see where that other person may or may not be. feelings like pity, disgust over some physical, mental or emotional trait and most importantly seeing myself. ah yes, when confronted with stuff i do not like about who i am, in the behavior, attitudes and words of another, they instantly get dumped into the difficult person class. i am not comfortable most of the time having my less than savory stuff reflected back to me, and that is what most of the difficult people in my life do. so after tripping across the REAL issue here, of course i have to run. i will ponder this over the course of the next twenty-four and let all of you know what i discovered, uncovered or revealed after a road trip and some soaking time under the just past full moon. it is a great day to be clean and a better day to walk in the FAITH that i am ion the right path. oh yeah, let go of what it is that is not in my power, by surrendering (yes i am using that word this morning) all of it into the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery.

∞ DT ∞