Blog entry for:

and individuality, just happens to be one of my favorite pairings, like chili peppers and chocolate, spicy and sweet. i broke my anonymity at the HOA BBQ yesterday, because i forgot that there are people who actually read what is on the T-shirts i wear and i was wearing one of my few remaining fellowship specific ones and had to explain what the acronym on the front of the shirt indicated. at this point in my recovery, it is not that big of deal, as these are my neighbors and not anyone with whom i happen to work. we will see if that changes the relationship i have with them or not.
speaking of yesterday, i might have to apologize for not writing this little exercise out. i have some great excuses, but the fact remains, i just did not do it, even though i had plenty of time. that happens to me, when i slip out of an everyday order of the day, and although yesterday started off as most of my Saturdays do, it did end up anywhere close to routine. today is shaping up to be a bit out of the ordinary as well, but due to a strong cold front “racing” down the Front Range, i am in no hurry to get out and start running. i have to plan my route based on the howling wind and figure out how to enjoy my workout and not have to fight the wind. that is a work in progress, to be put off until i get this posted and tweeted.
coming back to being myself and being “without name,” is a condition strive for daily. my neighbors were more than shocked when i told them i was a recovering addict, and that is not surprising, given the general impression those who are not addicts, have of addicts in general. i live in a quiet, up-scalish neighborhood, on the edge of town. i am part of a couple who is generally quiet and respectful of our neighbors. one could go through our trash and recycling bins and would not find any evidence of “addiction.” it was lack of attention to detail that revelation and it was just one more thing on my less than routine day. i am good to go this morning as the days go past, i am sure that little fact about me, will fade into the background of the white noise that is their lives.
moving into the here and now, what i “heard” this morning, is that is more than okay just to be me. part of being me, is that i am an addict living a program of active recovery. although i generally like to keep that on the down-low, i see it for what it is, a manner of living that goes way beyond what i believe “normal” people face in their daily lives. this morning, i will embrace that part of me and do the next correct thing, which right here and right now, involves thousands of steps and 10000 meters, packed into an hour or so. after that? well that has yet to be determined as this day has the promise of being quite full, regardless of the lazy pace i have set in getting to this moment. oh yeah, it is a great day to be clean and not have to shout that fact from the rooftops or share it with every single person i see today. 🤪

∞ DT ∞