Blog entry for:

i know that having to trust someone is one of the most important tools that i needed to learn. when i was getting clean (before i actually got recovery) i trusted no one, not my sponsor, not the members in the room, not my probation officer, not my family and especially not myself. since i was still using and was afraid of the consequences i hid what i was doing to the best of my ability from everyone. after finally reaching the point of desperation where i was ready to do almost anything to stay clean, i finally let my sponsor in and started to take a few risks sharing bits and pieces, and testing him to see if he would either rat me out or spread it around the groups. well he NEVER betrayed my trust nor has any of my other sponsors, so the reading for me this morning was more about reinforcing my current behaviors rather than adding a new one.
my current sponsor already knows more about me at this point in my step cycle than any before him and i am learning more about myself and my recovery than ever before. so i guess i will trust a little more today than yesterday and a bit less than tomorrow.
∞ DT ∞