โช today, i think i will take a break from the routine โช
Posted: Tue, Mar 12, 2013 10:02:35 AM
and stretch my potential to its fullest. well this morning has been anything but routine or boring, one surprise, after another, but all is well, i got one fire out, and slid into work, on time.
as i sit here pondering over the topic i chose this morning, i am amazed that i can be so calm after all the chaos going on around me. honestly, i feel like i should be in quite a state of anxiety and frustration, but i took a big stogie with me when i left the house, so the fire, the snow and the chaos really have left me just grateful that i can do this gig, just for today.
yes, there are times, when i just get bored doing the same things every day. yes there are times when i feel the need to reach out and create some chaos. yes there are even times, when i wonder if this is as good as it gets. as insane as all of that may sound, and right now tha sounds nucking futz, when i get into that state, gradititude gets put down the sh!tter. well this morning, i see that those times, as well as taking things in stride, are just part of the gig of walking on this side of the grass. life is… just life.
when i consider where i came from, and where i am going, it really is amazing. i was a total nit case when i came to the rooms, i thought success, meant never failing. and missed the notion that the road to success often goes through a failure or two. today, at least right here and now, i can accept that i will never fail, if i do not strive to do more than i believe i can. i never believed i could live without getting high, and yes here i sit 5661 days later, still clean and still hoping for more days clean. i never believed i would own a house, be a partner in a loving equal relationship or have the education, career or job i currently have and yet all of that is my reality, boring as it seems some days, because i CHOOSE to be more and look beyond the limits and constraints that once were my prison,
anyhow, time to get back to reality, it is a good day to have a life and to be clean, and i think that will be my credo of the day.
as i sit here pondering over the topic i chose this morning, i am amazed that i can be so calm after all the chaos going on around me. honestly, i feel like i should be in quite a state of anxiety and frustration, but i took a big stogie with me when i left the house, so the fire, the snow and the chaos really have left me just grateful that i can do this gig, just for today.
yes, there are times, when i just get bored doing the same things every day. yes there are times when i feel the need to reach out and create some chaos. yes there are even times, when i wonder if this is as good as it gets. as insane as all of that may sound, and right now tha sounds nucking futz, when i get into that state, gradititude gets put down the sh!tter. well this morning, i see that those times, as well as taking things in stride, are just part of the gig of walking on this side of the grass. life is… just life.
when i consider where i came from, and where i am going, it really is amazing. i was a total nit case when i came to the rooms, i thought success, meant never failing. and missed the notion that the road to success often goes through a failure or two. today, at least right here and now, i can accept that i will never fail, if i do not strive to do more than i believe i can. i never believed i could live without getting high, and yes here i sit 5661 days later, still clean and still hoping for more days clean. i never believed i would own a house, be a partner in a loving equal relationship or have the education, career or job i currently have and yet all of that is my reality, boring as it seems some days, because i CHOOSE to be more and look beyond the limits and constraints that once were my prison,
anyhow, time to get back to reality, it is a good day to have a life and to be clean, and i think that will be my credo of the day.
∞ DT ∞