โฆ my friends accept me despite my shortcomings โฆ
Posted: Wed, Aug 21, 2013 08:14:58 AM
they understand that i am still a work in progress. more importantly, i accept them, just as they are as well. yes, i was not going to write all about me, and perhaps as the bus wends its way to Boulder, that will be the direction i will go, hard to say.
this whole concept of what a friend is and is not, well i can certainly say, is one that i work over in my head constantly. i have been recently accused, and perhaps it is justifiable, of not being supportive of someone i consider my friend. he may have a point, but that is irrelevant, what his bitter words made me consider is how i can be a better friend and what i need to do, to do so. is it my job to point out the shortcomings of my friends? or is it my job to let them hang out with their spiritual flaws exposed for all the world to see? that is the dilemma i have been facing recently. as much as i used to enjoy telling someone how wrong they were, and here is how to fix it, the pleasure of doing so has been removed from me, and now it feels like an obligatory chore, more on the order of scrubbing the toilet bowl. i am now of the mind, that the behavior of sucking the hope out of someone, through humiliation and brutal honesty is not a behavior i want to consciously practice. part of being a friend, may be an honest assessment of their behavior, but it certainly does not mean bullying someone into seeing things the way i do, no matter how bad i judge they need to change. in fact, my job, now that i sort a few things out in my head. is to accept them, because of who they are, NOT despite their human traits and various quirks, that is after all, what makes them unique.
where did i learn this manner of behaving? i learned it in the rooms, i learned it by watching other addicts who were successfully in their recovery and i learned it in kindergarten, even though it took another 40 years or so to finally apply it in my life.
i really am at a loss for any more words this morning, so i will sign off by saying that i am grateful my friends do the best they can to accept me as i am, and i will return the favor as i walk through today. it is a good day to be present in my life.
this whole concept of what a friend is and is not, well i can certainly say, is one that i work over in my head constantly. i have been recently accused, and perhaps it is justifiable, of not being supportive of someone i consider my friend. he may have a point, but that is irrelevant, what his bitter words made me consider is how i can be a better friend and what i need to do, to do so. is it my job to point out the shortcomings of my friends? or is it my job to let them hang out with their spiritual flaws exposed for all the world to see? that is the dilemma i have been facing recently. as much as i used to enjoy telling someone how wrong they were, and here is how to fix it, the pleasure of doing so has been removed from me, and now it feels like an obligatory chore, more on the order of scrubbing the toilet bowl. i am now of the mind, that the behavior of sucking the hope out of someone, through humiliation and brutal honesty is not a behavior i want to consciously practice. part of being a friend, may be an honest assessment of their behavior, but it certainly does not mean bullying someone into seeing things the way i do, no matter how bad i judge they need to change. in fact, my job, now that i sort a few things out in my head. is to accept them, because of who they are, NOT despite their human traits and various quirks, that is after all, what makes them unique.
where did i learn this manner of behaving? i learned it in the rooms, i learned it by watching other addicts who were successfully in their recovery and i learned it in kindergarten, even though it took another 40 years or so to finally apply it in my life.
i really am at a loss for any more words this morning, so i will sign off by saying that i am grateful my friends do the best they can to accept me as i am, and i will return the favor as i walk through today. it is a good day to be present in my life.
∞ DT ∞