Blog entry for:
Mon, Sep 30, 2013 07:48:27 AM
♦ i continue to discover that i have ♦
posted: Mon, Sep 30, 2013 07:48:27 AM
special gifts to offer those around me.
for the first time i woke up this morning and what to do, about failing to live up to the expectations of one particular person in my life, DID NOT occupy my thoughts. briefly i wondered, but i quickly moved on to getting my stuff done so i could get to work. then, of course, this reading was next on my plate, and voilà, i had my answer, do nothing once again today.
allowing myself to let go of living up to the expectations of others, is quite a feat! after all, that is who i have always been, the image of the expectations of others. now i am being offered the chance to walk away from that and be okay, with who i am. weird and ironic that an abstinent addict, in the throes of active addiction, is teaching me something that i NEED to know.
back to my seed, so what do i have to offer those around me? back at the START OF THIS RECOVERY JOURNEY, ALL I HAD WAS MY DENIAL STRUCTURE AND MY ANGER, not a very attractive gift, but one that i offered freely. once i came to the fellowship that has become my home, the HOPE that it is not substances that owned me and that the freedom i sought came through the application of a program designed to counter the condition of addiction, not the use of any mind or mood altering substance. today, i have a few days of what living that program means to me and how it permeates through my life. if that was not the case i would have been over my dilemma two days ago, and on to the next crisis in my life. as it is, what i will do, will be revealed to me, ion the correct time, and i have FAITH that i will have the courage to act when that is the case.
the next right thing to do now,. just happens to be: shower, shave and hit the road, after all, the expectations of my employer are worth living up to today, they do provide me the means to live this life as comfortably as i can. i will share what i have and accept what others have and as the day goes on, i will allow myself to be who i am, without the need to live up to the expectations of anyone else.
for the first time i woke up this morning and what to do, about failing to live up to the expectations of one particular person in my life, DID NOT occupy my thoughts. briefly i wondered, but i quickly moved on to getting my stuff done so i could get to work. then, of course, this reading was next on my plate, and voilà, i had my answer, do nothing once again today.
allowing myself to let go of living up to the expectations of others, is quite a feat! after all, that is who i have always been, the image of the expectations of others. now i am being offered the chance to walk away from that and be okay, with who i am. weird and ironic that an abstinent addict, in the throes of active addiction, is teaching me something that i NEED to know.
back to my seed, so what do i have to offer those around me? back at the START OF THIS RECOVERY JOURNEY, ALL I HAD WAS MY DENIAL STRUCTURE AND MY ANGER, not a very attractive gift, but one that i offered freely. once i came to the fellowship that has become my home, the HOPE that it is not substances that owned me and that the freedom i sought came through the application of a program designed to counter the condition of addiction, not the use of any mind or mood altering substance. today, i have a few days of what living that program means to me and how it permeates through my life. if that was not the case i would have been over my dilemma two days ago, and on to the next crisis in my life. as it is, what i will do, will be revealed to me, ion the correct time, and i have FAITH that i will have the courage to act when that is the case.
the next right thing to do now,. just happens to be: shower, shave and hit the road, after all, the expectations of my employer are worth living up to today, they do provide me the means to live this life as comfortably as i can. i will share what i have and accept what others have and as the day goes on, i will allow myself to be who i am, without the need to live up to the expectations of anyone else.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
being myself 358 words ➥ Thursday, September 30, 2004 by: donnotα i have a gift?! α 210 words ➥ Friday, September 30, 2005 by: donnot
α over and over, i have tried to live up to the expectations of those around me. ω 368 words ➥ Sunday, September 30, 2007 by: donnot
μ my real value to others is in being myself. μ 376 words ➥ Tuesday, September 30, 2008 by: donnot
≠ always wanting and trying to belong and be loved ≠ 622 words ➥ Wednesday, September 30, 2009 by: donnot
“ as i work the steps, i learn to accept myself just as i am. ” 631 words ➥ Thursday, September 30, 2010 by: donnot
( once i start to accept myself JUST AS I AM ) 539 words ➥ Friday, September 30, 2011 by: donnot
‘ my experience in recovery is the greatest gift i can give another addict ’ 607 words ➥ Sunday, September 30, 2012 by: donnot
£ i once believed that i would be okay £ 638 words ➥ Tuesday, September 30, 2014 by: donnot
≅ being myself ≅ 639 words ➥ Wednesday, September 30, 2015 by: donnot
⋉ i spent a lot ⋊ 438 words ➥ Friday, September 30, 2016 by: donnot
🙮 trying to live 🙬 339 words ➥ Saturday, September 30, 2017 by: donnot
🌵 for the longest time, 🌵 519 words ➥ Sunday, September 30, 2018 by: donnot
😞 i never quite 😰 593 words ➥ Monday, September 30, 2019 by: donnot
💰 my real value 🖖 484 words ➥ Wednesday, September 30, 2020 by: donnot
🙊 i never 🤐 549 words ➥ Thursday, September 30, 2021 by: donnot
🎆 freedom 🎆 291 words ➥ Friday, September 30, 2022 by: donnot
🢫 unity in 🢪 425 words ➥ Saturday, September 30, 2023 by: donnot
😎 living up to 😎 359 words ➥ Monday, September 30, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
4) When things have become strong, they (then) become old, which may
be said to be contrary to the Tao. Whatever is contrary to the Tao
soon ends.