ฮฒ despite my human failings, i am coming to know ฮฒ
Posted: Tue, Jun 17, 2014 07:44:11 AM
that i have a great capacity for love and intimacy.
an interesting reading for me, coming at a time, when i feel a shift coming inside of me. after years of serving in one service commitment, i am coming to a place where it is time to walk away, leave that one for others to do, and focus my efforts somewhere else. i am only in the beginning of that detachment process, and yet it feels like i have already decided and moved on, all that is left is to tell someone about my decision. the tricky part will be to detach my judgments about how things are being done there, from what i say if asked why i am moving on. needless to say, some guarded intimacy is what i will need in this case, as i have some very strong opinions that are not necessarily helpful or even accurate.
this same shift appears to be happening in my life. as i go to work more each day, i feel more expert at what i do. i am amazed how much i learn every day, part of that is how to be myself at work, and yet maintain the distance from some of those who want to know more. not that i am ashamed of who i have been, or where i have been, it is just that like many parts of my life, these facts do not need to be shouted from the rooftops anymore.
being open and intimate, does not mean that i need to share every detail about myself, with every person that happens to interact with me during the course of my daily travels.
i GET to be open as well as circumspect, and best of all not feel guilty or ashamed about being in either state, after all, the other 85% understand this concept without being told or even thinking about it. me? well active addiction taught me to share nothing, hide everything, because if anything leaked out, it was bound to come bite me in the a$$!
anyhow, i have the desire to get rolling down the road. a bit on the early side this morning. being as honest and open as i can, i am not certain how much there is for me to write on this topic. this particular shade of grey, namely the fine line between being open and over-sharing, is one i struggle with from time to time. i do have a POWER that fuels my recovery, and that POWER does have my back, all i have to do is be awake enough to see what is going on around me, and the opportunity to learn where that line is, will be presented to me. it is after all, a great day to be …
an interesting reading for me, coming at a time, when i feel a shift coming inside of me. after years of serving in one service commitment, i am coming to a place where it is time to walk away, leave that one for others to do, and focus my efforts somewhere else. i am only in the beginning of that detachment process, and yet it feels like i have already decided and moved on, all that is left is to tell someone about my decision. the tricky part will be to detach my judgments about how things are being done there, from what i say if asked why i am moving on. needless to say, some guarded intimacy is what i will need in this case, as i have some very strong opinions that are not necessarily helpful or even accurate.
this same shift appears to be happening in my life. as i go to work more each day, i feel more expert at what i do. i am amazed how much i learn every day, part of that is how to be myself at work, and yet maintain the distance from some of those who want to know more. not that i am ashamed of who i have been, or where i have been, it is just that like many parts of my life, these facts do not need to be shouted from the rooftops anymore.
being open and intimate, does not mean that i need to share every detail about myself, with every person that happens to interact with me during the course of my daily travels.
i GET to be open as well as circumspect, and best of all not feel guilty or ashamed about being in either state, after all, the other 85% understand this concept without being told or even thinking about it. me? well active addiction taught me to share nothing, hide everything, because if anything leaked out, it was bound to come bite me in the a$$!
anyhow, i have the desire to get rolling down the road. a bit on the early side this morning. being as honest and open as i can, i am not certain how much there is for me to write on this topic. this particular shade of grey, namely the fine line between being open and over-sharing, is one i struggle with from time to time. i do have a POWER that fuels my recovery, and that POWER does have my back, all i have to do is be awake enough to see what is going on around me, and the opportunity to learn where that line is, will be presented to me. it is after all, a great day to be …
∞ DT ∞