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listening this morning, i seemed to get nostalgic about the dearth of close interpersonal relationships, that was my onus, when i walked into the rooms. i had a few friends, a room mate and my family and at the time, i lamented the fact that i had no idea how to form and maintain relationships of any sort. what that sorry state of affairs provided for me, was the freedom to go to as many meetings as i wanted to, hang with my peers in the rooms and generally have few or no restrictions on how committed i could be to service. as a result, i became a regular “model” of a recovering person, wholeheartedly throwing myself, all of my time and my creative talents into the fellowship, for a number of years, leaving all that relationship stuff for yet another day.speaking of relationships in the fellowship

Kris H,
365 JFTs in a row.
Congrats my friend and keep coming back!

my relationship-less, life also came to an end, as a result of all that time i dedicated to the fellowship and as a result, today, i have very few friends that are not traveling the path that i am. ironically, throwing myself into service allowed me to learn how to be an active participant in my relationships and as i developed deep and meaningful relationships, my time to be of service has been diminished. for me, this whole recovery begins at home notion, is a new one, as i had very little to keep me at home back in those early days, no matter how anxious or awkward i was in social situations.
so this is where i should launch in to my latest writing obsession, about the foibles of my peers. this is where i choose to declare that i have to decided to leave those peers, at least the ones i have been writing about,m in the quite capable care of the POWER that fuels my recovery. i can say that i am not on the margins these days, because i learned how to do relationships, by forgoing them for a bit of time in my recovery. i can say that i am connected with my fellowship and my peers, because i am discovering how to balance my life, my home life, and my recovery life, on a daily basis. that balance is the result of trial and error and is far from complete, i am still trialing and certainly making more than a few errors, in this regard. i understand what the reading is saying and more importantly, i get what i am feeling as a result, namely that IF i want to be capable of receiving the gifts of recovery, i have to give them to those in my life, with whom i share my home and my hearth. my recovery can no longer stop at the garage door, if i expect to have the sort of life i have always desired.
today? well today will not be part of three days underground and missing. today i will not say one thing and do another,. today? well today i will do my utmost to remember that being all spiritual in the rooms and with m,y peers, is quite nice, but carrying that same behaviors into my hoem and work life is even better. it is after all, a great day to be an active part of my relationships and to practice one or more of these principles in my home.

∞ DT ∞