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drifts away from conscious contact, i will not dwell on the distraction. certainly a noble sentiment and one that i might actually be able to implement ninety percent of the time. i often get in my own head, during meditation or at meetings, going down rabbit holes that have nothing to do with what is happening in the here and now. i write about those distraction during my ELEVENTH STEP, in this exercise. i often ignore the distractions that happen during the meetings, when my peers are sharing, except when the judgement train starts rolling down the track. in all honesty, meditation is where i get distracted the most, but yesterday, when someone i have little respect for, was chosen to “share” i spent the whole time trying to listen to the pablum he was spewing, even though i found it difficult to digest.
i have to admit, that is my issue and not his, as he has no idea of my current opinion of him and how it colors my perceptions. i have the desire to let go of what i know and what i have seen and just when i think i have done so, it pops up once again, full force and smacks me in the face. i guess if i can get over m y issues with my Mom after seven or eight months of stewing about it, i can get over this as well, it has been years now and he actually goes out of his way to avoid me for the most part. i am the one who is distracting myself from being a healthy person, whether or not i am on the moral high ground.
this morning as i peek at the temperature outside and look at what i want to accomplish, fitness-wise, i know that i can be healthier by not caving into comfort. i have set a goal and i need to make it happen. no it is not a resolution or a promise, it is just going beyond what i have been doing, as my in juries fade from my sixty-seven year old body. that task starts with a long walk with the dawg and will end with an attempt to run nine thousand meters. my life today, allows me the freedom to do just that, do my best and let go of the results. just for today, i am welcoming the effort ahead, and a pleasant afternoon in a smoke-filled room, enjoying a cigar or two. it is, after all, a good day to treat myself well.

∞ DT ∞