Blog entry for:

recovery process.
so i usually write this much earlier in the day. this morning, i decided to go get gas in the car before fetching my Dad and starting our journey home, and i do not regret that decision at all. in fact, this little ditty may be even better, now that i have the time to ponder over the events of the past ninety-six hours or so.

Rebecca K
SEVEN Years!
Man oh man, you certainly are a miracle.
Keep Coming back.

during the course of that thirteen hundred mile round trip, i went to two out of town meetings, hung with the family, did a hike with my dad and a hike i had never done. i also broke my anonymity with my cousin's girl friend. more disturbingly though, i met someone who was sober 26 years but “off drugs” for only 10 years. amazingly, i kept my judgement in check and in my head which means i did not burn a bridge, which for me is a good thing.what i wanted to say was a whole lot of stuff, but i figured since there were members, with time, that attended on a regular basis, they had or will set that member straight about the fact alcohol is a drug and so on. it is what it is, and i am better off for not coming off as some sort of outsider a$$hole.
this journey, was actually a long time coming. the fact that i could be with my Dad for four days, and as far as i can tell, neither of us has a resentment to deal with,m is certainly progress. i was unkind and rebellious in my teenage angst days, and withdrawn during my days of wine and noses. figuring out how to relate to my Dad, has been a hit or miss proposition, with me generally hitting myself, when i missed something i needed to be present for, in his life or our time together. this weekend, i got some serious pointers and not because i missed anything, but because i was ready to be present for the experience. finally, in my progressive recovery journey, i was ready to meet my Dad and be a part of his life as well. it was certainly not unlike the day my cousins became part of my life, just took much longer and there was some angst that needed to be addresses. now that i consider where my FOURTH STEP: went, it is no wonder that i finally cleared this bit of garbage out of my life and got to be a part of my Dad's experience as well.
is everything sunshine and light? well not yet, but that road look a whole helluva lot lighter than before. i am beat from my drive, worn out emotionally and mentally anyhow. i am sore, physically from the whirlwind of physical activity i took part in over the weekend. emotionally, i am a bit weary but far from worn out and spiritually, i am better than i ever was. all in all, what i could call a successful journey, at least for this addict. just for the rest of this day? well i will chill, do my laundry and leave the world of bits and bytes behind me. it is a good day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞