ฮด no matter what i may have dealt with through the process of the steps ฮด
Posted: Sun, Jun 6, 2010 09:03:11 AM
there will always be more. what i did not remember or think was important in my first set of steps, will surely present itself later on. as i have discovered as i worked through the steps cycle again and again, with a sponsor, and writing out each and every STEP. i know man, how do i find the time, using the step working guides there are 69 questions in the first step ALONE. writing a complete answer to each and every one of those question could TAKE A LIFETIME. could if the operative phrase here just like a meteor could drop out of the sky and land on my head, the probability of that happening is quite small. HOWEVER, when it comes to taking a life time to work step one out of the step working guides, that falls clearly on to my shoulders. not like some random piece of rock dropping out of the sky, IF i choose to whine about how much effort doing step work is, instead of sitting down and doing the writing the answers out to those dang 69 questions, it is fairly certain that before i will be as miserable as i was when i walked in here, and denial will once again commence to make me spin how it is recovery and not my lack of effort, that is making me miserable, hence it is recovery that needs to be abandoned.
yes a bit oversimplified i know, this bit of hyperbole, is not that far out of the realm of possibilities for me, as i have seen it happen time and time again to other members, some with decades clean. the end result is always the same, they used. how do i know this, the lucky ones came back to the rooms to tell us their experience, the luckiest of the unlucky ones die. i cannot and do not want to count on my dumb luck, for anything doing with something a valuable as my life. and i will not and do not PERIOD! as it says in the literature: "if it is not practical, it is not spiritual."
getting better just by answering some questions in writing and then sharing those answers with a member who has agreed to help me on my recovery journey seems quite practical to me. that little bit of effort even after 4650 days clean strikes me a quite a bargain, all things considered. so on that note, i will ease my way into this lazy crazy late spring day.
OH BTW HAPPY 1 YEAR CLEAN REBBECCA K!
yes a bit oversimplified i know, this bit of hyperbole, is not that far out of the realm of possibilities for me, as i have seen it happen time and time again to other members, some with decades clean. the end result is always the same, they used. how do i know this, the lucky ones came back to the rooms to tell us their experience, the luckiest of the unlucky ones die. i cannot and do not want to count on my dumb luck, for anything doing with something a valuable as my life. and i will not and do not PERIOD! as it says in the literature: "if it is not practical, it is not spiritual."
getting better just by answering some questions in writing and then sharing those answers with a member who has agreed to help me on my recovery journey seems quite practical to me. that little bit of effort even after 4650 days clean strikes me a quite a bargain, all things considered. so on that note, i will ease my way into this lazy crazy late spring day.
OH BTW HAPPY 1 YEAR CLEAN REBBECCA K!
∞ DT ∞