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Day one off the grid and I am feeling a bit relaxed. The long journey of of the heart of winter is complete and somewhere along the way I lost my sunglasses. I could whine and complain, but instead I will be looking to buy a new pair, somewhere on my cruise the next few days.
So enough of the travelogue, what the fVck is this notion about “proper” motives for service, and whether or not I have them? These days, this is rally more of a “how many angels can dance on the head of a pin,” kind of question, then something I seriously consider in real-time. It was not always that way, and of course, more than once in the past, I have gone through my progression towards “proper” motives for serving the fellowship. What I am feeling today is that a quick dive into why I serve and where I serve,would be illustrative of who I am, or is it who I am today, that defines where and how I serve? Does it really matter?
Today I am more about helping the addict who still suffers than helping myself. I can say that in a spirit I of humility and without having to qualify that statement. Sure, I am still self-serving, and often, when given the chance, I may not necessarily do the next right thing. As I have heard enough times in the rooms before, this is a program of progress not perfection, and this morning I think I will take full advantage of that loophole :)! Anyhow, I want to give away what I have been given, and even if it is just one out of the hundred addicts that walk into the he rooms, that can receive that gift, so be it. When I serve, I do not get any immediate results. Oh sure, they all say how they are going to do this or that when they get the chance, but the sad truth of the matter, is most recycle back into the same situation where I originally met them at. The fact they do not “get it” does not diminish my desire to continue to serve, after all, if I was still all about results, I would have been long gone. To say that I am unaffected by this recalcitrance would be a lie. It hurts and I am all about diminishing the pain. When I get to the spot of frustration, where I wonder what I NEED to change, then I know I have moved out of the true will of service and back into self will, where or not it is running riot.
Today? Well today I have a Segway tour to do, some breakfast to eat, and island adventure partake of and the hour grows late. It is a good day to serve, serve myself and if the opportunity arises, serve the fellowship that is my home.

∞ DT ∞