Blog entry for:

for kings and presidents, well not quite, and that is far from a **negative** thing, as i would prefer not to be in the presence of some who fit that description. amazingly though i am fit company for all of those who happen to fill my life which in and of itself is nothing short of highly improbable, when one looks at who i was, not all that long ago.
a single promise and that is all, although if one reads through the literature there are all sorts of implied promise in this fellowship. when i got clean, i was in another fellowship that spoke of “twelve promises” to the point of becoming trite and cliché to me. it was tiresome, as those who were in the same boat, raced towards the place where they too could see those “promises” come true, and i was part of the frenzy as evidenced by 12 steps in 12 months. quite honestly, if not for an outside influence and a sword over my head, which was more imagined than real, i too would have joined that race to relapse after completing those 12 steps. i was more than a bit disappointed that all that i was “promised” was not materializing soon enough in my life. when i reached my bottom, i found another choice, the fellowship that has become my home and never regretted leaving behind what i once had. i know there are those who see that this singular promise is an “accommodation” and an homage to that other fellowship. for me, it stripped the pretensions away from what i wanted and gave me the means to describe what i had achieved through my recovery process, using terms that were familiar to me. that singular promise was the beginning and not the end result, by which i could compare how well i was doing. form that singular promise, i got many gifts and to inventory them here, would feel as if i was bragging, so i will defer to my judgement this morning and deal with the gratitude that i feel living in the FREEDOM FROM ACTIVE ADDICTION.
at the meeting last night, the topic was supporting those in our lives who are going through times of illness. for some reason the discussion turned very dark and brought up issues that i did not want to share about, namely how well am i going to be able to support my siblings when my parents start to sicken and die. i have been down this route before, and up until last night, felt well-equipped to be be the “rock” when the time comes. as i drove home, i pondered my experience and felt less than “up to” the task. this morning, i have a bit more clarity and IF i continue to live the program of recovery i have been give, i will get everything i need, when that day arrives, a gift from the promise, on which i base my life. right here and right now, it is time to pack this up, ship it off to the Internets and head on over to Boulder for some Saturday morning routines. it si a great day to be free from active addiction and do what i can to foster that freedom.

∞ DT ∞