Blog entry for:

with the addict who suffers, who just may NOT be the last member in the door. i do understand why attracting new members to the fellowship is important and i get why making them feel welcome is the primary purpose of the group. what i do not get is why so many of my peers, neglect them after they get a bit of time and some stability into their lives.attraction, at least in my mind, goes beyond getting new members in through the doors, it also is important to attract them to stay and accept our new way of living. as a result of this opinion, i tend to allow my peers to swarm over the newest of new, and i tend to speak one-on-one with those who may have come in a while ago, but seem to be struggling to stay. in my heart of hearts, i know both approaches are needed to keep our fellowship alive and free and this morning i an not criticizing those who see the other side of the equation, more clearly than i do. after a weekend of doing just that, i am far from ready to head back to work, but understand that is what i need to do.
the notion of attraction echoes a conversation is was having yesterday, with one of the men who call me their sponsor. as we progress through the 12 Traditions, i keep chiding him to “look for the connections and the relationships” of the preceding traditions, with the one we are currently discussing. my attempt to unleash his creative action, is not going as well as i planned, and i find myself getting frustrated. as i attempt to attract him to the side of thinking creatively about how this program is put together, i am fighting the inertia of his lack of thinking beyond his immediate needs for years on end. i see the light coming on, but it is far too dim and i want to accelerate the process, but something he said yesterday tells me that i am pushing too hard and i need to allow him the opportunity to come to having the desire to be curious about how things work, when it comes to living a program. for too much of his life, he has had structure imposed upon him, and me trying to free him from having to have structure, in regards to this program of recovery, is frustrating him as well. over the next few days, i will let that idea percolate through and uncover what my next right thing is to do, in this regard.
coming back to where i started, i really do believe the newest members deserve and are entitled to my attention. i do not believe they need be fawned and fussed over, as i think that right form the start, the members of our fellowship are encouraged to stand on their own two feet. my days of taking on “projects,” investing more in the recovery of someone else than they are willing to invest, and changing the way i feel, by adding a FNG to my life, are over. each and every one of those behaviors are manifestations of my character defects and have brought me nothing but trouble across the course of my recovery. when i respect myself to treat the newest of the new as my peers and equals, i GET to be more of the person i have always wanted to be. day by day and just for today, for me, my job in attracting members is to be p[resent, share what life in recovery really is all about and walk the path i purport to live. actions speak far louder than words and living a program, means that i can have fewer regrets about my day, today than i did yesterday.

∞ DT ∞