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is a life saver or at least it has worked out that way for me. i can honestly and without any reservation say that when i first was forced into the rooms of recovery, i was not open-minded in the least. i saw the members who were to become my peers as losers, who probably used a little in a party last week and ended-up getting sick. after all, drugs were the answer, not my problem and all they seemed to talk about was how much of a problem addiction was for them, which i inferred to mean their drug use. it was drugs and the justice system that brought me to the rooms, not any “disease” or “addictions.” fast forward a few decades and here i sit ensconced in a life of active recovery, attending meetings and who''s whole social life comprises doing stuff with my peers in recovery, all thanks to a stubbornly closed mind being cracked open.
what keeps me coming back? unlike some peers, i no longer view myself as hopelessly broken, nor do i live in abject fear of relapsing and spinning down into the gutters i came from. i have found by listening to all of my peers in meetings and in my social interactions, i “get” the information i need, when i do not dismiss what they are saying, out of hand, just because it conflicts with what i think is correct. i do have to admit that “flat-earthers,” “5G conspiracy theorists,” and “election-deniers” get a pretty short shrift when they start telling me about their beliefs. most everything else, at least gets a fair hearing in my mind, and one thing i can say for sure is when someone says “i have done my research,” i am apt to ask what exactly does that mean.
when it comes to recovery, however, i am far more open to theories about how to do this gig. i know that there is not a single “correct” path for any addicted person to find what i have built through the process i have been given. i know that i will not stay clean if i decide to graduate to something m,ore “advanced,” nor will i be content if i revert to mere abstinence. i can only speak for myself in this regard, but that is how i find it works for me, today, just for today.
before the wind picks up much more, it is time for me to go do my weekly run in the first T-shirt and shorts dress-out of the season. my physical fitness program may look extreme to some, but it is part of my amends to myself, as i am no longer making my life worse by engaging in behaviors of a sedentary lifestyle. just for today, i am content to be clean, take direction from my peers and open my mind to the notions, ideas and theories of those around me, weighing whether or not i CHOOSE to make them part of my life.

∞ DT ∞