Blog entry for:

sitting in fornt of this spyware and virus laden computer in the hotel lobby, i am grateful that this is not part of my daily routine. there was once a time when i loved to travel and get away from my life. i used to joke that if i injested a certain substance i could go on a trip without ever leaving my living room -- and thinking back on that today, that was actually a reflection of how i felt about my life. i always seemed to want an escape from the never ending chatter of my mind and the dreary mundane details of finding and using.
so what does any of this have to do with whether i choose to be miserable or not? back tehn i had no choice, if i did not want to miserable i had to use, and i did not want to be miserable so i used more than once every single day of my life. i wish i could say that i was not ever miserable since i decided to walk the path of recovery, that is a lie. what i can say is that honestly i am less miserable, less of the time and when i choose to suffer in misery, i can find a way out by practicing a spiritual principle or two. it also does not mean that everything in my life is perfect and suits me just fine. that would be a lie. what i can say is that there are ways and means for looking at my life that allows me to accept my situation just as it is today, and do my best to make my situation better. not exactly the easier, softer way but a manner of living in which my life is not miserable or at least i am not!
so i think that right here, right now, far from home, i will take a minute to think about how grateful i am to be clean and wish my friend TIM M a happy four year anniversary of his clean date. nad get ready to fly home to be with those i love.
∞ DT ∞