Blog entry for:

can be an inside job, well, actually i cannot see it being any other way, and if i had written that headline i certainly would have used a stronger lead, by using IS instead of can. i need not go into the semantics and all i am just saying that for me, ALL creative action comes from within and is rooted in my desire to continue to grow the spiritual being i have so carefully nurtured since i came to recovery. it is true that my creativity was not always used for a higher purpose, in fact, in active addiction i used it to get what i wanted and screw the torpedoes, full steam ahead. i cannot say that i use my creative action purely for good these days, but at least in need not manipulate, bully, cajole and pretend my way through each moment of life to get what i feel i NEED.
coming back into the here and now, i almost got this little exercise written before i went to the rec center. someone at work, however prevented that from happening, but his interruption in my flow into this morning was not unwelcome, nor did it set me off-balance. he provided the information that i required to work on the ticket i got stuck on, on Friday and now i can move forward with another easy ticket, before diving into my big project for this week. i still have yet to get the answer of whether or not i need to be seeking a new job, but that does not keep me from passively looking as i do what is on my plate at my current gig. for some reason, i have very little stress over this whole not knowing thing and that in and of itself is a bit disturbing to me. i am after all, a control freak and when it comes to bring home the bacon, a worry wart.
it is time, however, to post this and move into my next task for this day, getting the dawg to stretch her legs. it is a good day to be clean and a better day to do the next correct thing that i am presented with, and not worry about what may come next. just for today, i can be okay and creative as i walk through my day and see what comes down the pike.

∞ DT ∞