Blog entry for:

is sometimes only a moment, but can also be hours, days or even weeks. before i get started down this path, just a reminder in case it is a detail that i have not shared recently: i have been diagnosed with **panic disorder,** so this reading might be seen as exceptionally apt to me. the fact is, that **diagnosis** was made in the early stages of my recovery, just after i got clean, and may or may not be valid. i bring that up here and now, because i know many folks who actually live their lives under the cloud of panic disorder and as i trip merrily down the lane about “pause to catch-up” i do not want to appear callous or unsympathetic to their plight. now that the bidness is out of the way.
what i heard this morning, was about the number of things i “need” to worry about in my life today. that was what i HEARD, but that was before me and dawg took our little trip through the neighborhood and i had a chance to let go and allow myself to feel something a bit different. what popped to the top of the stack is the dissonance , intolerance and just plain assholery that seems to have infected the world around me. in my opinion, it seems that everyone is out for themselves to get what they can before the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. whether that is turning left in front of oncoming traffic, cutting the line in the grocery store, or living vicariously through a smartphone, it certainly seems that civility, humility and tolerance are old-fashioned values that are no longer in effect. what started this thought train was the interaction i had with another human being, as we walked along the Oligarchy ditch. it is true that he was of another ethnicity than i am, which started the chin of how well do i live through my biases and prejudices. do i judge others by what i see, or by how they act? can i affect change in my immediate world by seeing what “triggers” me and stop reacting? certainly good stuff to consider.
a bit more on topic, though, can these concerns lead me to a place where all i see is the dark and miss the light? being a beneficiary all my life of white male privilege, just what do i owe the world around me? how do i pay that debt back? where i seem to keep coming too, is that allowing myself to witness intolerance, entitlement and racism and not say anything about it, makes me complicit in those crimes. allowing myself to not see the importance of what is going on around me, may make me feel better, just for right now, but how long will that last. where i seem to be headed this morning, is that i can make the changes in my life to be kind, courteous and tolerant, if i allow the spiritual process to manifest the change in me.

∞ DT ∞