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is it, really? for those of you how are used to reading this little ditty earlier in the day, this is finally the time i had to put down everything and actually consider what i **heard** this morning. well, actually what i heard this morning and how this reading strikes me now, are probably not the same thing. after speaking with two sponsees and hours of **windshield time,** i am sure what i **heard** from GOD when is tarted my day, was augmented by the events of my day.
the day with the sponsee i traveled to see, ended on a different note, as he finally asked me about my spiritual path. it is hard for me to explain my path to someone that is not grounded in their own. twice he reminded me that he was “new” to this Christianity gig and was lacking understanding of what that was really about. that led to a discussion about BLIND FAITH versus deep and abiding FAITH. the issue i have, is i probably left him feeling that those two FAITHs are mutually exclusive. as i was driving home i saw the errors of my ways and i will have to write him a letter explaining that blind FAITH, can become deep and abiding FAITH, in an instant or over time. i also probably left him with the impression that i live in a state of deep and abiding FAITH when it come to my program of recovery, there are many of my peers that live in blind faith, accepting without any evidence at all, that this program will work for them as well as it has worked for many others.
his assignment over the past few months is to define a concept of a HIGHER POWER that works for him. he has struggled to find the words, hence the spiritual nature of our discussion today/ i am more than certain that i said F-CK and GOD in the same sentence, and probably shocked the shit out of some of our neighbors at the other tables. he also stated he did not know hear the “Voice of God” during his practice of the 11th STEP and as he goes about his day. i had to chuckle, then i told him i hear that voice with my heart and not my head and that GOD speaks to me through all my interactions throughout the day, i just have to be present and listening to get the “message” so i could choose to take advantage of the opportunities i was being given. he told me that if he did that he would be over-analyzing everything in his day and we both got a chuckle out of that.
which sort of brings me back to where i started, how important is all the small stuff in my life, when i can live in a deep and abiding FAITH that i will get everything i NEED, if i pay attention to what is going on around me? i do not expect a million dollars top drop out of the sky and land at my feet, just because i think that is what i need. i can however, look for a job with a bit more future, spend less and let go of what i cannot take care of, right here and right now, just for today.

∞ DT ∞