Blog entry for:

this is a week of some final stuff or a new beginning depending on how i choose to look at things. my feelings swing from anxiety to excitement at a in a seemingly random manner over the past ten days and this reading this morning nailed it on the head. i have to believe that it was written just for me, for my particular and unique situation at this exact time. i know that is very egotistical, but i will go with that, at least right now.
yes life has thrown me a few choices that i would have rather put-off making forever, namely deciding on whether to go into business for myself or hunt for a new job. after friday, i will be self-employed and looking for a new job, an interesting career path right now. am i a bit anxious? YOU BET! shit i just moved out of my current living situation and into a house with the woman i love and we are hemorrhaging money left and right getting our new home set-up. then there is that whole dependence on someone else to provide for my needs stuff. and of course there is that whole got to work thing going on. even when i was using i always had a job to pay my bills on a rotating basis. and then a person who i never thought i was going to make amends to, calls me from south dakota and sets up what i need to repair the damage there.
WHOA GOD, PLEASE A LITTLE LESS STUFF, I THINK I HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW!
so there you have it! now comes back to the FAITH that the reading was suggesting i need to cultivate. i have to believe that GOD has given me no more than i can handle, and GOD has brought me this far, so GOD would not abandon me now. and as the reading suggests the time has come for me to let go and allow my HIGHER POWER to run the show. yes i have some things lined up that will pay my bills. yes i can do what is required about making the amends and yes i CAN STAY CLEAN through all of this. life is certainly different these days and my task is adapt and do the next right thing, which today is see my new client and map out the direction of our project, sit down with a couple of sponsees, go to a meeting, take care of my responsibilities and GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY and let GOD do GOD‘s work. simply the next right thing!

∞ DT ∞