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opportunities life presents to me, is certainly a differnt manner of living today. Being on the road, as it were for the past few days, I get the opportunity to appreciate what I have. I GOT to be a part of two friends joining their lives and the celebration that they had planned. I GOT to soak in hot springs. I GOT to spend time with my family. And now I GET to travel home to face the real world. I am grateful that we decided to kind of “play it by ear” this morning and not to get out in front of the “Ride of the Rockies” bike event. I might have dreamed of being home shortly after noon today, but I am okay with getting there when we do.
As I paused for a second=d to get my bearings I realized that lost dreams and new dreams may be one in the same for me. I often wonder, now that I have the life I always wanted, what else lies in store for me. Sure, I might be richer, younger, smarter or better built, but the facts are that I have a life that is enviable to the man that walked into the rooms all those days ago. One of the the abilities I seemed to lack, back in those days, was the ability to be present and see what opportunities were being presented to me. I missed a whole lot of my life, due to the rationalizations and excuses I made for needing to get high. When I was using, the only opportunities I was on the hunt for were those to get something for nothing. The echoes of that lifestyle dropped on my life a year ago and I am starting to see a bit of daylight, allowing myself to be okay with a bit less. Just as I no longer NEED to put myself into social situations that I find tedious or yes even odious. I am becoming more aware of what my value is. The set of behaviors that wrapped up in “playing to the crowd” are diminish that value, each and every time I feel the NEED to do so. I am, after all, better than that.
The dreams I see this morning are the dreams of a better life, through living a program of recovery. I will not get youn=get, but I may get smarter, richer or more fit. I can dream of being more secure in who I am and what I do. I may even get to realize that the changes being manifest in my life, because I am living a program of recovery. Without planning on it, I have become part of other people's lives and sometimes even get a chance to rech out at the exact right time. Being more than I ever was, is part of a dream I did not realize I had and just for today, I will live in the dream that is my life.

∞ DT ∞