Blog entry for:

fulfillment, and satisfaction are within my reach. admittedly, i often sound less than hopeful or bright and cheery when i describe my life. to be honest my life since has progressed beyond the wildest “pipe” dreams i had in active addiction. i do have a life these days, and i really have no regrets about being clean. all of my regrets are about what i could not do in active addiction. as i grow as a person, i find myself looking at how i got here and wondering why it took me so long to realize how empty my life was and how much fuller my life has become. i may not have the dreams i once had, but i do have HOPE for my future.
as i sat this morning, i really did not hear a whole lot about “dreams” waking up, and more about seeing a future where i get to be me and not who i think everyone else wants me to be. the fact that i am seeing a future where what was, is no longer what is. i know that may say confusing, and perhaps that is what has been driving my angst lately. sure my job is going away and i am struggling to find a new one. that HUGE caveat there is, that i have until the end of August to find a new position and maybe, just maybe, some of my nibbles with recruiters will make it through the HR door. as work has had me hopping since early this morning, i think it is time to take a break, go get a coffee beverage and let the world spin as it will. it is a good day to attempt to let go and allow myself the FREEDOM to hope that everything will work out in the long run.

∞ DT ∞