Blog entry for:

...the freedom to pursue my ambitions, whatever they happen to be these days! and that is the whole problem with my recent life. after fulfilling a few dreams during my recovery, i do not know where to go from here! and of course the POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS, gave me a swift kick in my posterior end to get me to move in some direction. so here i am a few months later, learning how to balance working for myself and taking care of my responsibilities and still clueless where to go from here. the answer of course is sitting right in front of me, "with our foundation of recovery, success, fulfillment, and satisfaction are within our reach at last."
so what exactly say to me? to move forward, be present for my feelings, take a risk or two and see what i find. my talents are paying my bills and for me that is a wonderful thing. spending the week getting my garden started has opened up a new kind of feeling -- that of physical satisfaction -- accomplishing a very visible and definite task through my own physical labor, literally the sweat of my brow.
my attitudes are changing and i am finding myself making decisions that are healthy for me, in a spiritual and emotional sense, and the changes those decisions are making within me, are opening other doors within me. i do not believe old dreams are awakening, but new dreams are being created and staring to take shape just below the surface, kind of like an iceberg, just waiting for me to crash smack dab into them with little or no warning! but i do not believe that like the Titanic i will end up on the bottom of the sea, these crashes will elevate and illuminate the path before me.
but enough of the silly analogies, life is waiting for me to participate, so i better answer the call. off to the races!

∞ DT ∞