Blog entry for:

myself, i can be well-connected and a part of the fellowship that provides the means for me to live the life i have today. i have to admit i have been phoning this little exercise in, the past two days, filling space and ignoring what is really going on. sure i mentioned in passing my anger, disappointment and relief over having my trip to Ireland cancelled by the the attempt of governments around the world to slow the spread of COVID-19. it took me a minute to realize that the understand that we are all going to be infected, but if they can spread that out over time, the strain on the health care “systems” would be within tolerable limits. i am still more than a little dismayed by my fellows humans running to the stores to hoard everything in site, i mean seriously, how many rolls of toilet paper does one family need to quarantine in place for fourteen days? the list goes on and on, the only shortages in the stores are not because COVID-19 is affecting the supply chain, it is because of panic buying and a notion i understand very well: “getting what i am entitled to get!”

Larry Q,
Congrats on SIX (6) years clean.
Keep coming back, thanks for showing me it can be done.

anyhow, i am more than a little pissed off at my peers this morning for just “suspending meetings” instead of seeking out alternate locations. i will pound that emotion into the concrete during my daily workout, as who the F*CK am i to judge them?
which brings me back to the top of allowing myself to be well-connected. i have stepped away from service in my local fellowship for a myriad of reasons. those reason span the spectrum from rational and well thought-out ones; to ones based in pride, prejudice, fear and loathing. my anger derives from the fact that i am not in control and i have to rely on my peers, to do the NEEDFUL. when i see they have dropped, in my not so humble opinion, that ball, my reaction is WTF, did they forget that in times of trouble and distress there are many who need the comfort of the fellowship, even if social distance needs to be observed. for this addict, i need to let go of outcomes that i long ago put into the hands of others. for this addict, i will have to make the best of what these trying times may bring. just for right now, this addict needs to suit up and go pound the pavement to release his feelings and trepidation about how the world is spinning these days and realize that no matter what, this addict will get whatever it is he needs, if he allows himself to be present to see the opportunities set before him. it is what it is, and yes i know that i will get COVID-19 sooner or later, that is out of my power to control as well.

∞ DT ∞