Blog entry for:

starts with not using, which for this addict was not even a good start, after all, staying clean for any length of time was never something i was interested in doing. learning how to live **clean,** well that is another story. this morning after a very short night i GET to have a very long day, which, if everything goes well, will include being above 14,000 feet again. while it is true that i attempted many hikes of this nature when i was using, the fact of the matter is, i never truly was present for the incredible experience. today i will get to be present and enjoy the trip.
as i sat this morning, when my mind finally got off the topic of what i needed to do, to get ready to roll, what i kept coming back to, was a sense of gratitude for being where i am today. i GET to go climb a mountain. i GET to fret about why my paycheck has not arrived in my bank account. i GET to rush a bit of musing about how i got here. i GET to HOPE that no matter what, i will have a day clean. living clean means i do not have to lie about who i am and where i am going, anymore. living clean means i can admit that i am unsure about my future in these “interesting” times. most of all, living clean means i GET to be myself and let the chips fall as they may, just for today.
with all of that on my mind, i think i will dress for the weather at the top of the world and wait patiently for my ride to arrive. it is after all, a great day to live clean and i might actually do what i can to enjoy that gift.

∞ DT ∞